All rain and no sun is no fun for Jack and Jill. That's why in England we have school holidays in August when we know it's going to be wet and dull.
I never heard anyone regret that they had too much sex when they were young.
Smokers are like those old lags for whom prison is a comfort zone.
If you look at how badly people get on with each other, it's surprising more people don't choose solitude.
Ther should be a Society for Unsponsoring Things. Just imagine, no "Sponsored by ..." signs waving at you from municipal flower beds.
When I see a "personalised" car number plate that does not actually spell the owner's name, I read it as ST2PID C1NT.
Taxation without Pain
How to fund care of the elderly frail? Ninety-five percent tax on legacies to cats' and dogs' homes.
I shan't vote again. Whichever party wins, it will still be God, The Queen and School Uniform. They demand so much deference from us.