When David Cameron became Prime Minister he was sworn to many Secrets in a ritual that takes place after every change of PM. Nowadays, the ritual has been stripped of its more overtly Masonic elements, but it is still, in reality, an initiation into the secrets of the Masons.
One of the secrets is about building. Not about building houses and certainly not about bridges or tunnels or flyovers. It's about Minor Road Works.
David was told this secret: local government Highways departments exist to ensure that every year in every part of the country, one million holes are dug and then filled in again. This, he was told, is what keeps the British economy working.
To work in a Highways department you must be a Mason and your contractors are all Masons too: all those Bodger & Sons who have existed from before remembered time. Some of them know how to take six months to dig one small hole and fill it up again in such a way that road subsidence occurs allowing the task to begin again. That is Masonic craft.
Back in January, I blogged about the ongoing Minor Road Works here in Brighton. With money in the Masonic chamber pot, the Council decided to change the traffic lights and the pedestrian advice lights which go with them. The work is now done and the lights are carefully out of phase - pedestrians stand around waiting to cross when all the traffic lights are red and no traffic is moving. Then they are given ten seconds of go ahead only to find themselves chased by traffic. It's perfect. When an accident occurs, that will be the green light for a new round of work by Bodger & Sons.
I'm not even making it up. I'm just telling you, it's not a Cock Up. I'm a Blogger and therefore know that it's a Conspiracy. If anything happens to me, you already know why.
Postscript. As soon as this Blog was published, up popped Google trying to sell me Masonic cufflinks. See what I mean?