A mutant flu virus is causing worrying concern to Boris Johnson. It targets older voters and especially those whose brains have been addled by The Daily Express. What makes it worse, Boris is reported to have said, is that it comes at a time when my enemies in the Cabinet have starved the NHS of funds. So these people don’t have a chance. It’s very bad news for me.
So far the virus seems not to have targeted Daily Mail readers, but a spokesperson for the CBI, who did not wish to be named, commented, “We can only live in hope”